Nov 9, 2022
What Changes Our Sadness?
“There is no better cure for man than preoccupation.” — Razi
Life is never a straight line for anyone. There are constant ups and downs. Just like EKG charts… This is rich-poor, strong-weak, educated-uneducated, young-old, male-female; is the same for everyone without exception. The lifelines of the richest or poorest in the world are very similar. There is no perpetual happiness, perpetual high energy, perpetual anxiety, or perpetual distress.
As in Osho Rajneesh’s parable, the roots of the tree of life feed on sadness, and its branches feed on happiness. One feeds the depth and the other feeds the height. In the tree of life, both roots and branches are necessary. As one develops, the other develops as well. Roots need to be deepened in order for the branches to elongate and reach higher. It has to be simultaneous. Bigger tree means deeper roots. Always proportional and always balanced.
“If everything is coming your way easily, you are not on the right path” also indicates this. The area of ease and comfort will prevent the development of your tree of life.
Yusuf Has Hacib’s “Peace, if you want it, comes with trouble. If you want joy, it will be found together with anxiety” also shows that everything is solid with its opposite. It is not possible to have constant happiness, fun and enjoyment in life all the time.
In fact, the way to catch them is not to pursue these feelings, but to endure difficulties even if we don’t want to, to shed a sweat and then to feel conscientious relief, peace and happiness. Of course, this doesn’t last forever, it takes a new job and a new effort.
Just as people work more productively when they are busy, there is also the fact that “the way the owner of sadness travels in a month, in a year without sadness” (Hasan Şerkavi).
“I asked God for strength, he inflicted pain; I asked for courage, he gave dangers; I asked for wisdom, I had more problems.” It is necessary to understand the fineness of his words and to create our philosophy of life accordingly. “Sadness matures, losing teaches patience. Love fate, love sorrow if there is one.” said Mevlana’s advice in every sadness will help us to manage it. Why should we not make our greatest troubles and sorrows an occasion for our deepest prayers?
There is a saying about sadness that I heard from Saadettin Ökten and I love: “If you feel sadness for no reason, know that you are very close to Allah at that moment.” Doesn’t God say, “I am in the hearts that are sad.” So let’s appreciate the sadness and ask Him in those moments. It is certain that it is a very favorable moment for the acceptance of prayers.
However, it is our response to difficulties that will determine our position. “And Lord, if we are not close to you now, what does our sadness change?” By that, I think Hüsrev Hatemi also meant this. We have the choice; Either we will rebel and deviate from the right path, or we will take another step towards becoming a perfect human being thanks to our sadness. We should know that man is the result of his choices and decisions. Tolstoy points out this by saying, “It is often the choices made by oneself, not by others, that make people sad and unhappy”.
The youth and children that many of us today criticize as Alpha or Generation Z are ultimately our creation. Didn’t we cause this by keeping them away from all kinds of problems in a lantern, by asking them if they are in good spirits at any time, by preventing them from opening up in order to protect them? How accurate is the determination of Acar Baltaş, who is an expert on this subject: “Children who do not feel sadness, shame, guilt, disappointment and failure become adults who lack empathy, selfish, lie easily, cheat when they get a chance, and are not ashamed when caught. . Then we wonder, ‘What kind of people are these?’”
More effective learning occurs when emotions are involved. Şule Gürbüz says, “Some things are learned not by thinking, but by being sad.” We remember not what some people told us, but how they made us feel.
You get angry with someone. Even hearing his name hurts. You will never be able to put up with its existence. But this is a situation that you cannot put a name to, and perhaps you do not remember at all what was written or said. However, your feelings, which you never forget, guide you.
Concentration is the number one solution to overcome sadness and distress. As Razi said, “There is no better cure for man than preoccupation.” Perhaps the best concentration is writing. You may find something similar to the relief of sharing your distress with a friend or seeking help from a psychologist while writing. In writing, there is sharing of feelings, analysis of the problem, and ultimately engagement. “I can shake things up when I write; My sadness disappears, my courage is reborn,” said Anne Frank, who actually summed it up very well.
The main thing is not to have things to fear losing or to educate oneself that one day one will lose everything. This should not mean withdrawing from the world and should only be understood as providing a clear heart.
Ultimately, as Mevlana said, “And then death comes, you forget all the troubles in the world!”
Not: This is the English version of my Medium article titled “Hüznümüz Neyi Değiştiriyor?”
Aykut GÜL
Medium: https://aykutgul.medium.com
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